For making the most defining contribution to the Tederick.com landscape for the calendar year in which the award is given, Tederick.com’s editorial staff and board of directors are pleased to announce that Sasha James is the Woman of the Year for 2011.
For being the driving force behind the Tederick Doctor Who adoption campaign in the spring, Sasha would already have had a significant lead on the competition in the 2011 voting, however her value to the organization did not end there. She also participated in Harry Potter Palooza, did a bunch of hilarious shit while drunk and/or under sustained head injury, was a participant in the One Minute Film Festival’s 2011 show, and stole Ryan’s phone one time and wrote “Poopin’” on his twitter. Plus she’s a fierce friend and all that blah blah blah. Couple these high achievements with the fact that from the outside, no one can tell if Sasha and Matt Brown a) are married or b) can’t stand each other, and you arrive at an overall level of excellence which, we think, comes to define the Tederick.com Awards.
As Woman of the Year, Sasha joins previous recipients Allison Reid Hayes Whatever, Becca J. Wood (for whose role in the overall Tederick.com infrastructure Sasha is currently interviewing), J.K. Rowling (who wrote Harry Potter BTW), and of course Sarafina who is, I’d like to remind everybody, also the Woman of the Decade.
For nearly a decade, one thing has drawn vistors to Tederick.com again and again… and it ain’t me, my content, or anything I have to say. It’s three little words: “Keira Knightley nude.” I used those words on the site at some point, and KA-BOOM: we were off to the races.
Now, I suspect that in the random act of blogging and reviewing films, one eventually uses every single searchable phrase ever (in fact, there should probably be an Internet Rule about this), though by my best guess, this was no random confluence in my case. I actually bespoke the phrase “Keira Knightley nude” on the blog in or around January 2002.
By March of that year, the phrase was already appearing in my statistical information as a top draw. Since then, it has never been out of the top 15 searchable phrases that lead visitors here, though this month - March 2011, nine years later! - is probably the most it, or words related to it, have ever been represented:
But for why? As I’ve admitted, it’s all my fault. When Keira Knightley came on the scene (well, a few years later - she was, after all, in The Phantom Menace), I had a nice celeb crush on the lady. She was pretty. (She still is pretty, by way of being a tree.) So I engaged in typical fanboy crap, and did some cyber-lusting, and mused upon her in prose. And this is the result.
But that was a long time ago now. I’m not sure if Keira has gone the full Knightley in a movie yet or not, as I don’t really keep up with her non-Pirates work any more, and besides, this is the most beautiful photo of her that has ever, or will ever, be published, so who needs a nudie shot? But to these folk who keep coming here, prowling over every square corner of Tederick.com, looking for some glimpse of a nipple or a buttock - the people who are still interested in this, nine years later - seriously, guys, what’s the deal?
There is, in fact, a nude picture of Keira Knightley on this web site somewhere, though I’m not saying where. That was added well after the fact, in capitulation to the inevitable regarding my search results, around the same time I likewise added “Keira Knightley Nude” to my meta-tag information. Why not? Tits are tits and hits are hits.
And so, it occurred to me recently that although Tederick.com traffic remains, in the grand scheme, unbelievably low, I do nonetheless generate some traffic once in a while (Sucker Punch!). And with that being the case, and with revenue from Tederick.com being otherwise zero, hey - I figure I might as well get into the ad game.
[pours himself a scotch]
I am now officially an Ad Man. The film reviews, which I do for no reason other than that the sheer joy of the writing… well, those things really oughta start pulling their own weight around here. So, with apologies to all who like their uninterrupted green backgrounds, I am leveraging Amazon Associates to start pulling in the coveted thousandths-of-a-cent per ad impression, and commissions of relateable DVD sales, on the sure and faithful belief that if Ebert can do it, I can sorta do it too, but really half-assed.
And therefore as a direct consequence of my newfound status as a capitalist, I as of now officially sanction and condone all prurient interest in Keira Knightley’s boobs and netherparts. I offer them, free of charge, somewhere on this web site; go find them, visiting as many pages as you possibly can in the effort. Go, go, go! It’s well worth your effort, I assure you, and my wallet thanks you for it. I am not unschooled in the ways of the world, and my moral vigour has an outer periphery, approximately where my expensive action figure collection sits.
You want to see Keira Knightley nude? Kindly blow yourselves out.
For a long time I resisted putting my movies online, due to general squeamishness about the lawless ways of ye Internet. I finally reversed the decision a year ago and started putting some limited clips and films on my site using JW player. Now I’ve capitulated to the inevitable and gotten my social media fully on.
I’ve created a Vimeo channel for my films (this complements my YouTube channel, which, like the rest of YouTube, is for video crap). I’ll be posting everything in my catalogue prior to 2010 over the course of the next few weeks, and everything will be linked out of the Tederick.com Online Cineramadome. First up is Guy in the Sky (2009).
Guy in the Sky is a short film about men and the paper planes they make. It screened at the Gimli Film Festival in 2010, and stars Demetre Eliopoulos and Daniel Cockburn. You can read more about it here.
Because she celebrated getting one masters by going to get another masters; because she will shortly therefore be DOUBLE-MASTER BEX; because of Suck It; because of the yoga and total lack of yoga; because she kicks sweet sclerosis ass and keeps on a’ grinnin’; because she made me a Guac Lord; because she thinks Californication is a good show; because she’s getting married; because of the fairy thing that happened to her and then happened to me; because of Home Fries; because a picture of Emma Watson’s vagina comes up every time she calls my phone; because she has never not been there for me (and that’s saying a lot); because - by Dumbledore - the courage; and because we are 7 down, one to go on a ten-year deal. THE TIME IS NOW
Tederick.com is pleased to welcome Rebecca J. “Becky Jo” Wood to the annals of Women of the Year. Bex joins Allison Reid, Sarafina, and J.K. Rowling as the latest recipient of this exclusive honour.
One of the reasons I abandoned my Movable Type blog last year was a recognition of inadequacy: that my existing installation of Movable Type was inadequate to the broader swath of content being generated on teh internets these days, and that my skills to improve my MT installation were inadequate to the kind of functionality I would need. Basically, what I wanted was Tumblr: a bullshit-simple uber-interface for blogging, social networking, linking, quoting, image-posting, video-blogging, and the rest, that would require zero technical maintenance on my end.
Tumblr has succeeded in this regard nicely, though it required me to “let go” of a certain proprietary pride of ownership over the content on my site. Given that everything I write is hosted “elsewhere” now, I find I am less regularly moved to produce content in depth, and more moved to reblog photos of Star Wars action figures doing funky shit.
Additionally, Tumblr’s ability to populate to my web site via a single line of code is nice, but not awesome. I’m still too weak a CSS wrangler to really nail the issue of styles on the site, and the result is ugly. I’m designing Tederick.com version 14 now, which should hopefully improve some of the slack.
I’ve used Tumblr as a blogging engine for a year now and have only just begun using it as a “following engine.” In other words, until recently I didn’t really give a toss about who I was following on Tumblr, given that I was already following tons of folk on Twitter, and Tumblr use just isn’t widespread enough to provide (or even for me to want) that kind of content availability in-system.
That’s changing, though, partially because of Tumblr’s less-widespread use. I follow weird shit on Tumblr (consequently, some of these links will be NSFW). Today it’s this guy with his doll fixation, yesterday it was these painted secrets, and I think what this guy is doing is gorgeous to the last nine. It turns out, Tumblr is great for that: quick, vivid visuals and off-the-beaten-track imagery, thoughts, and expressions. Given its druthers, Tumblr has the potential to become pop-poetic, by way of anything from arty- (and sub-arty) porn to pictures of beautiful people picking daisies to everything in between.
As usual, with Tumblr, you get out what you want to get out.
Updates for the new version:
1. Standardized design template across as much content as possible
2. Consistent navigation through all affected sections of the site
4. Yes, more flexible social media installations than ever before. Welcome to 2010.
In 2009, this site was visited approximately 100,000 times. That works out to around 300 visits a day. I know who about 11 of these people are, so to the rest of you, hello!
By the end of the year, the tederick.com home page was the most popular page on the site (it used to be the blog index, when the blog was hosted in a sub-directory of the domain rather than the front page). Many people still have tederick.com/blog bookmarked, though, so they stop there before coming here.
In third place among the sub-pages, surprisingly, is my requiem for Consumers Distributing.
Popular reviews this year include Avatar, My Queen Karo, and The Disappearance of Alice Creed. Legacy reviews still receiving many hits include A Perfect Fake, Let the Right One In, and La Coupure. My review for Symbol is the most-read review of the year. (Ah!)
Search indexes continue to focus on penises and vaginas and their various slang, and also continue to make disconcerting emphases on childrens’ parts.
On the whole, you’re Mozilla folk, which is fine by me. On the whole, you’re American and Canadian, too, but Japan is third in line for some reason.
Re: this new blog here;
1. Twitter taught me brevity.
3. Going on anti-depressants for the second time in my life taught me that whatever else is going on, it’s probably important to keep up with your shit.
Re: the look of the thing: While still learning the mystical lingo of embedding, I will someday also learn the arcana of “making it pretty.”
The goal was never really never blog again, so much as something needs to change, in both the style and the medium - because the old Tederick.blog had fallen, to put it charitably, waythefuckbehindthetimes.
While attending Podcamp London ‘09 I began thinking of what I wanted from a new content management system: a central aggregator where the content from all the social media satellites would beam down to one place.
I wanted was absolute facility, about everything. I didn’t want a blog, a Facebook page, a podcast, a Twitter account, a YouTube channel, a Flickr photostream, plus whatever eight other things were bounding over the horizon before the sun set, all separately managed and separately attended. I wanted a single hub that would aggregate all of these sources into a single all-access page.
As it turns out, I wanted Tumblr.
So, with TIFF ‘09 bearing down on me I wanted to get back into the sphere (though the idea of an entirely tweeted TIFF ‘09 microblog was also insanely appealing), and with all the other feeds (save Twitter, it’s too damned annoying) piping into tederick.tumblr.com, and with tederick.tumblr.com itself feeding into the front page of tederick.com - holy fuck this is complicated! - it just seemed like time to get started again.