Batman is checking the frame, guys. Goodnight.
Ah, being a boy.
When you’re 14 years old, the game is pretty much up, Hallowe’en-wise; or so I discovered, on or around the 31st of October, 1990, when I was - in fact - fourteen. I think we can all agree that I hit puberty when I was 13, depending on what you consider to be the advent of boy-puberty (I have my theories), and sometime between dressing up as Batman in the fall of ‘89 - because 1989 was, in all regards, Batman - and finding the most kickass mask ever to dress up as the Phantom of the Opera in 1990, I went over the ledge, hormone-wise, and consequently trick-or-treated in ‘90 looking absolutely nothing like a kid and way too much like an adult in the opinions of pretty much every parent who opened every door on St. Leonard’s Avenue that night.Read more
The natural expectation was that it would be Marvel vs. DC for control of the comic book movie universe; but with DC shitting the bed so spectacularly in the matter of setting up any non-Bat franchises, it’s actually gonna be Marvel vs. Fox - fought entirely with Marvel characters. Suits me fine; competition makes for a healthy marketplace. Here’s hoping Marvel never folds the Fox properties back under their umbrella.
DC’s 4” line bringing in Batman Returns and (the real) General Zod.
The truth is, my phone rang, and the head of Warner Bros said ‘Come into my office, you are going to play Batman in a Batman film’ and I said ‘Yeah!’ I called my friends and they screamed and I screamed and we couldn’t believe it!
“I just thought the last one had been successful so I thought I was just going to be in a big successful franchise movie.
“In a weird way I was. Batman is still the biggest break I ever had and it completely changed my career, even if it was weak and I was weak in it. It was a difficult film to be good in. I don’t know what I could have done differently.”
What next, husband?
Well, next, eleven fractured days and long, dark nights.
In which I am forced to remind “the internet” about things “the internet” never seems to understand on their own, vis a vis the “real world.” Read more
"I’ve got two words for you: Michael Keaton."
"Eric Bana? Great actor, terrible as the Hulk. Wesley Snipes? Mediocre, one-note actor, amazing as Blade. Chris Evans? Horribly miscast as Captain America, except for when he was actually pretty great as Captain America. Scarlett Johansen? Terrible for Black Widow, until we saw she was a great Black Widow. Sean Connery? Perfect for the part of Allan Quatermain. And by “perfect,” I mean “career-endingly horrific.””
"You guys know that Affleck doesn’t actually have a Boston accent, right? He was born in California and grew up in Cambridge, around the corner from Harvard University. He went to private school. He’s about as South Boston as Thurston goddamn Howell.”
"If you think that Daredevil failed because of Affleck, then I think that your parents failed because clearly they dropped you on your damn head too many times.”
"You want to worry about something? Worry about the fact that Zack Snyder is now holding the rights to the two greatest heroes in comic book history.”
NB: This was posted in my "articles I didn’t write but wish I had" feed. But really, it belongs in a “thank goodness someone else wrote this so I don’t have to” feed.