Mamo #377: Have You Ever Seen A Woman Pee? It’s Odd

The Horror! The Horror! Our intrepid horrornaut Matt Price returns from his year-long mission into scary movies with news to report about everything from Oculus to Martyrs.


As is the case every year, Team Third Row gathers its collective witticisms, tweets, Vine reviews, and other clippings into a mega summary of the TIFF That Was. Read more

Letterboxd, and closing the loop on “good” and “bad” in film


In case you forgot, I don’t need movies to be good. (Here’s some more.) And here’s Jandy’s manifesto from a couple of weeks ago, which I think is bloody brilliant, as it gets to some of the ideas I was trying to talk about, but ended up talking myself away from.

I’m sure it’ll come as no surprise to anyone who’s listened to Mamo! as we’ve moved into the subjective vs. objective portion of the debate (so really, everything since episode 194 or thereabouts) that I’ve held star ratings in a dim view for most of my life. What, exactly, does 3.5 stars out of 4 mean? Does it mean that the movie is perfect, except for one quantifiable mistake? (Roger Ebert memorably docked Thelma & Louise half a star for the abrupt fade-to-white on its final shot - and quite rightly, IMHO.) 

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All mysterious woods are the same mysterious wood.

All mysterious woods are the same mysterious wood.

Destroy All Monsters: The Last TIFF

"The festival will remind us that they have a number of low-cost alternatives for people who cannot afford the major passes; but there’s something troubling about this as well, as the organization attempts to box its less-desirable customers into the second half of the week or the daytime screenings."

In which I muse on Festival Then vs. Festival Now at #TIFF14: Read more

#TIFF14 Blog: Stop the Madness!! - Epilogue


I want to tell you about a movie I saw this afternoon, Still the Water. Directed by Naomi Kawase, it concerns two teenagers on an island off the coast of Japan, dealing with death and change in their family, in parallel and together. It is a movie about nothing in particular, really, composed of a series of low-key scenes, and just as often, silent sequences of the characters traveling, or thinking, or sitting. Don’t worry: it is very much the movie I signed up to see, a kind of rural Japanese melodrama with its accompanying piano score and a great sense of the sea and the salt air, and the sound of leaves rustling.

“It’s not easy, but it is simple,” one older character says of the process of finding and falling for the love of your life. Somehow in its simplicity Still the Water manages to be a contemplation of love, mortality, time, age, parenthood, childhood, sex, tattoos, men, women, and families. It struck me like a thunderclap - never did I expect the “wind-down” day of TIFF to yield my favourite film of the festival. But Still the Water certainly is. And for all its patient, even meditative tempo - for all the work thus required to get there, after a week of 23 films and 10 Midnight Madnesses in a row - Still the Water sticks the landing like I could scarcely believe. Its final moments of sweet first love (I have seen an inordinate amount of sex this week; this was the first time I have seen two mid-coital lovers smile at one another, as though the experience meant something to them), and breathtaking underwater swimming framed against an old man’s knowing words, are transcendent. It will be on my list of the best films of 2014.

In like kind, The Grump works perfectly well for its first hour and a half or so; and then miraculously lands on a final ten minutes that are roughly as good and as resonant as the first ten minutes of Up. I am drowning in embarrassment of riches here. In 48 hours I have seen Over Your Dead Body, Theeb, The Guest, Still the Water, and The Grump. I would confidently call all five my top five films for TIFF 2014. A few others - Cub, Big Game, 1001 Grams - will remain among the year’s most memorable.

I chose The Grump to be my final film for one reason: because I am one. I stand here on the precipice of being irritated beyond my interest in doing this annual plunge into the night-and-day film festival; “Deep TIFF,” as I just described it on the podcast. Deep TIFF means reaching into the briny sea with both hands to try to pull out something exceptional from the masses of the catch; deep TIFF means focus, and planning, and quite a bit of money. It’s not something I’m convinced I want to do forever; there are deeper and more compelling things I could use my focus and planning and money on, which will cut just as close to the bone - and quite probably deeper, if I’m doing them right. It will never just be cinema for me, I guess, is what I’m saying. The elation I felt this afternoon as wonders unfolded in front of me can spring out of sources. But this, here, at the film festival, will always be where I learned how to do it: how to crack my chest like a lobster tail, release the flag to the wind, let the stars take me. The festival ends. TIFF lasts all year round.

Here’s something I scribbled in my notebook in the dark at some screening at some point this week: “Can you live in the moment, love what you have, be positive and be true to yourself?” The final plain, in the seats of #TIFF14. Well: can you?

Best of the fest: Still the Water

Fucking terrific: Over Your Dead Body, Theeb, The Guest, The Grump

Really, really good: Cub, Big Game, 1001 Grams

Solid: Wet Bum, Tusk, Tokyo Tribe, What We Do In The Shadows

Acceptable: Dukhtar, It Follows, Electric Boogaloo, Goodnight Mommy, REC[4], The Editor

Could have been better: Spring, Flapping in the Middle of Nowhere, They Have Escaped, A Pigeon Sat on a Branch Reflecting On Existence

Worst: The Tribe


Mamo #376: How To Stick The Landing At #TIFF14

Mamo closes up the 2014 Toronto International Film Festival with talk of our favourite films, the Audience Choice winners, and the noticeable movements of the year – plus, hairy boobs.

#TIFF14 Blog: Stop the Madness!! - The


Fighting some kind of psycho-emotional Purge Night as day breaks cold and grisly on the last weekend of #TIFF14. I duck in to Theeb first thing, earlier in the morning than I should be doing this, though I woke up earlier all week for work, so I’m not entirely clear on why my body and mind and heart and soul and all the itty bitty angels are fighting me quite so hard on this. But fight me, they do. The movie is wonderful and the intro and Q&A equally so, and I take the time to dream I’m a Bedouin boy trying to survive on his own in that canyon on pluck and sheer will. Then I dream about what it means to dream about such things. I am no such boy - and yet, it moves.

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#TIFF14 Blog: Stop the Madness!! - Shadows


What we learned yesterday and today: that after-work nap is the fuzzy beige line between this thing working like MechaGodzilla, vs. the whole King Ghidorah going off the rails. I spent a couple of lost hours immediately after work doing other things much further up the priority list than my date with the couch, and felt fine about it till I crash landed in the midst of another midnight in a row. Man! I had this shit wired, not 2 days ago! So I can tell you that What We Do In The Shadows was dandy, for the parts of it I was able to intake. It seemed to me a comfortable B-side to Jarmusch’s Only Lovers Left Alive from last year, with the central thesis again being that immortal vampiric life might seem all well and good, but the actual doing of it would likely be an exercise in scarcely-withheld insanity-due-to-boredom. I can’t help but wonder if it wasn’t a bit too on the nose for the Midnight Madness crowd, as subject matter. There was certainly a brightly lit scene at the tail end which, after so much mercurial gloom, nearly made me hiss and claw for the shadows.

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#TIFF14 Blog: Stop the Madness!! - Cub


Wednesday night a repeat of Friday - the rains started around the end of nap time, and persisted. I was reading the Prometheus sequel comic, Fire & Stone (it’s quite good so far), so the LV-223ish gloom was appreciated, and it did better prep this time than last, with my umbrella and waterproof everything. Everyone is bleating about In & Out Burger’s four-hour layover in Toronto tomorrow, so I went to Five Guys and got myself the superior cheeseburger. And they’re here all year round, gang.

Tonight was my double feature of kill-crazy adolescent boys, Goodnight Mommy followed by Cub. I already have a generous terror of boys, having been one myself, and having been bullied by other such ones besides. (Not for a while, don’t worry.) I know what’s going on in there from both sides of the equation, and it’s nothing good.

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